How To Spend Your Christmas Money

Maybe you were lucky enough to receive as Christmas presents, envelopes containing cash. Instead of doing something foolish like saving or investing it, or replacing the worn-out brakes on your car, consider the opportunity offered by the Opening Day Foundation: a chance to “celebrate the great American tradition of outdoor sporting, shooting, fishing and conservation.” What is the Opening Day Foundation, you ask?

The foundation filed its paperwork as a Texas non-profit on December 14. The institution lists four directors: Donald Trump Jr., Eric Trump, Dallas investor Gentry Beach and Tom Hicks Jr., the son of a Dallas billionaire. The organization is sponsoring “Opening Day 2017,” an event described as “honoring President Donald J. Trump.”

You can participate! A donation of $1,000,000 gets you Bald Eagle designation and invited to a private reception with the new President and fifteen others. Almost as good, though, it also includes a four-person multi-day “hunting and/or fishing excursion” with noted outdoorsmen Donald Trump Jr. or Eric Trump “and team.” (A Trump spokesperson later clarified that there may not be an actual Trump on the expedition.)

If your friends and relatives were cheap in their gift-giving, or if you’re personally stingy, you can still participate at the Grizzly Bear ($500,000), Elk ($250,000), Marlin ($100,000), Rainbow Trout ($50,000) or Wild Turkey ($25,000) level.

“All net proceeds from the Opening Day event will be donated to conservation charities.” There is no mention of any specific charity or how “net proceeds” are to be calculated.

Act fast; you don’t want to miss out.

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